Camp
by Christie Hart
Summary: Bella doesn't exist—at least not to her sister and her former friends. She had intended to erase them from her life, and had almost succeeded until a school trip went horribly wrong. What would you do if you were lost with the enemy?
1. Prologue

A/N: Hello readers! So I've been gone for a while, but I've been fooling around with several plot bunnies. With help from SUNFLOWER3759, I've been able to get this story on the move. Hope you enjoy, and feel free to slip me a review :)

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**Prologue**

We walked for what felt like hours. None of us wanted to say anything because we feared that we would reveal the awful truth. I glanced up at the bruised sky as day tried to appear; not even the sun could provide comfort under these circumstances. Pain radiated through my feet from the endless walking. Tree after tree, rock after rock, the nature that had once brought me considerable peace was now horribly monotonous. Well, I guess it had been horribly monotonous before, I just hadn't minded it. Now I had the sick desire to light a match to the forest.

I glanced at the faces around me. Rosalie clung to Emmett's thick arm, Jasper towed Alice's large bag, and Edward followed behind, sticking in their company. Once again, I was in the background, not only because they were excluding me, but because I refused to associate myself with them even in times like these. Alice glanced back at me, an unidentifiable expression appearing in her eyes. The look changed into a glare, whether it was conscious or not was yet to be determined. I lifted a hand, lowering my fingers until only one, lonely digit was left. She returned forward, no longer acknowledging my existence.

As if I could care less.

The day began to change, the scorching sun beginning to disappear once more. I could feel my resolve and confidence begin to crumble with every fat teardropreleased from above. The sky returned to its signature grey, the cumulus clouds swarming and dominating the atmosphere. I stopped walking, entranced with the doom that seemed to be rolling our way. The sky laughed at us in the form of thunder, while veins of lightningstretched across its darkened skin. I no longer couldtell which tears belonged to me, and which belonged to the sky above. I sunk to the ground, allowing the rain to pool around me, hoping that it might actually just drown me. That had to be a better death than the slow one we would be enduring in the oncoming days.

I could see it on their faces too as they stopped and looked at me. Instead of making fun, and instead of whispering as they always did, they looked at me with understanding. They all understood what was happening, even though none of us wanted to say it aloud. It was then that I realized I would have to rely on these faces –on my former friends, the ones I hated so intently. And because none of us would say it, I volunteered myself to state the words that would begin the hardest, most trying time of our lives.

The words that would inevitably bind us together, alive, or dead; whichever way we came out of this.

I stated the words that were the agonizing truth,

"Guys," I whispered, glancing at the trees around us that seemed to stretch forever in all directions …

"We're lost."

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I suppose a disclaimer should go here.

~Christie Hart


	2. The People

** The People We Knew**

We walked past each other with no words spoken.

It seemed trivial, unimportant and maybe even trite, but happened non-the-less. It was something that most might never think twice about, or even notice. Walking by someone, and ignoring them completely. But it was exchanges like these that defined who I was, and who she was, and the fact that neither one of us was anything at all like the other. Her hair was pitch black, cropped, and pin straight, with strands barely brushing her angular chin, touching her structured cheekbones, instead. Sometimes it would get caught in the bright red lipstick she always wore. You would wonder how someone could wear an outfit that always matched their bright red lipstick, but that was just her –it was her trademark. Her clothes were always perfect, delicately hanging off her tall, lithe frame.

All this humorously contrasted to my look.

Long, curling hair; soft features to compliment my curvaceous, somewhat fluffy body; and frosty blue eyes that were hidden behind thick glasses. Thankfully, that was the only common trait between us –our eyes.

Otherwise, no one would ever suspect that she was my twin.

Someone's shoulder knocked into mine, sending my books toppling onto the floor. No one stopped to help me pick them up because no one cared.

Not anymore at least.

I spied her blonde hair, and his dimples. Afterwards, I saw his cinnamon skin, and her inky curls. Finally, there came the golden curls, and next to them, the green eyes. All of them I had been familiar with, but none of them comforting now. To say I felt nostalgic was a misstatement. I didn't feel anything for any of them anymore. They barely registered in my mind, and I wasn't even a blip on their radar. To me they were just faces, and to them I didn't exist.

~_camp_~

"Bella, you're being ridiculous," Charlie rolled his eyes, "It's the trip everyone talks about going on their junior and senior year. That was the best part of my time in Forks High. It doesn't get more fun than that. You're supposed to be doing thekind of things I was doing at eighteen."

"Impregnating someone?" I raised a brow.

"Don't smart ass me girl," Charlie warned.

"Dad, it's okay, I don't even want to go," I said, "And I don't want to leave you here by yourself."

He waved me off, "We both know my heart's doing just fine. Stop making up excuses."

"I don't want to go," I said bluntly.

"I'm just saying. Would it kill ya to get some fresh air in ya? I swear all you do nowadays is just sit and read."

"I'm sorry I'm not Alice," I snapped, harshly dropping the plates into the sink.

"Now listen here young lady, you know that's not what I meant," he sighed, "What I'm saying is that, well…you never got back out there."

"She left you Dad," I turned to him, "Stop acting like she just stepped outside for a few seconds. I stopped caring years ago and you should too."

I shut the tap off, leaving our dirty dishes in the sink as I stalked out of the room past him. I was barely at the stairs before his large hand grabbed onto mine and kept me in place. I should have expected that he would stop me from storming up the stairs; Charlie never left fights unfinished. He turned me around and briefly enveloped me in his arms. Charlie was not a man of affection, so when he hugged it had great intention.

"Don't fight with me," he pleaded, "I can't lose any more of my girls."

"You'll never lose me, Dad," I assured, "I promise."

~_camp_~

I trained my eyes on the floor of the bus as the rest of the students and guardians filed on. Despite waking up late, at ten minutes past an ungodly hour, I made it to the school campus early enough to grab a seat on the bus first, eliminating the anxiety-filled moment of having to choose who to sit next to. I picked a single seat by the window, settling myself by planting headphones in my ears, and shutting my eyes.

Midway to jumping back on the sleep train my dozing was interrupted. I looked up into the eyes that mirrored mine, and my mouth turned into a grimace.

"What," I asked.

"Here," Alice dropped an envelope on my lap, "For Charlie. It's important."

I considered ripping up the envelope much as I did with all the things I got from Renee. But this time, it was for Charlie, and if it was anything insurance or divorce related I'd be an idiot to discard it. Instead, I placed the envelope beside me, deciding to read it later when I gained more coherence. The morning was still being cruel to me as it pulled my eyelids down and dragged me back into unconsciousness.

A ton of laughter drifted from the back of the bus to where I sat. I ignored it as I tried to coax myself back to a slumber. I could hear the dominant voice of Alice above the rest of the students as they hushed to listen to her story. Alice didn't draw attention, attention drew to her. Everybody unconsciously turned towards her, their bodies angling so that they could soak up the energy that was Alice. Eyes were wide with interest; mouths quirked into subconscious smiles, and bodies leaned forward as if her smile was magnetic. Inwardly I became sick at the show, and that's exactly what it was, a show. Alice was nothing but a shallow pool that seemed pretty, until you tried to delve deeper. There was nothing underneath the water but hard, bitter disappointment.

Not wanting to become ill from the sight of her, I drowned myself in all the green that we passed. I still couldn't believe that Charlie had managed to force me to go on this trip. Every year the seniors and juniors of Forks High went on a heavily anticipated camping trip in which they stayed near the Olympic National Forest and enjoyed the festivities of the wildlife. The highlights of the trip were the bonfire gatherings, obstacle courses, and the scavenger hunt they had in the forest. That, along withthe many chances teenagers had to hook up during their free time.

As you can see, I'm thrilled.

My fingers came in contact with the envelope, reminding me that I wanted to read it. Of course, Charlie would not be pleased if I gave the envelope to him opened, but my curiosity won over, and I found myself opening the small, thin packet. I was surprised to find a simple sheet of paper inside, filled with Renee's scratchy scrawl.

_Dear Charlie, _

_ I know after our last argument that you must be adamantly against speaking to or hearing from me, but I refuse to let it end how it did. You know very well that I never meant it that way; I just wanted to help you. She's still my daughter, and regardless of our living arrangements or our past circumstances, I do have a responsibility for her. If you would just tell me any expenses, I'd be happy to help with her schooling –_

Angry heat eats at my face as my fingers enclose around the paper. My possessions slide off my lap as I suddenly stand, causing the attention of several people to be drawn to me_._

That was the most attention I'd received in months.

Pushing my way through the throng of legs, I made my way to the back of the bus, nothing stopping me from barging in on the conversation that was taking place. The moment I arrived, I was met with the faces of my former friends who were shocked at my conversation stopped abruptly as I confronted Alice, her blood-red smile disintegrating into a straight line. I grabbed at her hand and shoved shredded paper in her delicate palm, making sure it scratched roughly against her skin. With my mouth stationed at her ear, I calmly said the words I wanted to etch into her memory,

"Tell— your— mother," I whispered, "To keep her shit to herself."

The stony look remained on her face as I walked back to my seat. I returned my belongings to my backpack before shoving the iPod headphones back into my ears. Hood over my head, I drowned out the sound of the bus starting back with its paltry chatter, wanting to forget all that had happened in the past three years.

It hadn't always been this way. We hadn't always been such a segregated family, built on hate and screw-ups. It only started when Renee had up and left, three years ago. I could still remember the night with startling clarity.

_Dad and I walked into the house, still riding over the picks of the NFL drafts. As always, he and I debated over the number of quarterback picks, __Dad __arguing that there were__too many that didn't deserve the chance, and me insisting that he just had a soft spot for the other players. Mid laughter, my heart stopped at the sight in front of us. As we entered__,__ we were faced with the scene of Alice and Mom, fighting to get their suitcases down the stairs._

"_What's going on," Dad froze, much as we all did, "Where are you going?" _

"_Alice, Bella, get in the car," Mom ordered. Alice and I stayed put.__ Whether it was out of defiance or sheer fear I wouldn't know, but we remained glued to the wool carpet. _

"_Renee, what the hell are you doing," Dad's face be__gan to turn an odd combination of red and purple__._

"_We're leaving Charlie," she said as confidently as she __could manage. Her facade was ruined when her voice cracked, "I can't take it here anymore." _

"_Wha-Wh-Why don't we just sit and talk about this," he tried __to ration calmly. I was only fifteen, but even I could tell that he had already lost the fight. I wondered if he knew._

"_We've already talked about this," Mom shook her head, "I warned you this was coming –I'm not happy here anymore. I never was, and I nev__er will be. I'm not going to sit here and be trapped by you in this house. I'm going, and I'm taking the girls with me." _

"_You're not going anywhere," Dad bellowed, "Stop this shit Renee! You're messing up this family." _

"_Charlie, it's too late," she sho__ok her head, "I met someone else." _

_Dad's face paled as he staggered to sit on the stairs, his head going immediately in his hands, "You can't take them. I'll have nothing Renee. I'll have no one. Please don't go. You're my life." _

"_I'm sorry,"__ she choked out, "Come on girls." _

_ There was a rotting silence as Renee moved our bags to the door. Alice followed dutifully behind her, helping her to lug our remains. All the while, Dad sat on the steps rocking back and forth as his world was being taken away from him suitcase by suitcase. Something inside of me snapped at that moment. I knew I couldn't leave him, and I knew that if I did I would spend forever resenting my mother__,__ and resenting myself for following her. Who was she to break apart this family, making decisions on her own call? _

_I loved my father, and I thought I had loved my mother too. But as I stood there, watching her grab the last of her belongings from the dining room I realized that I did not know her. I can say without a doubt that nothing is scarier than loving someone, but not knowing who they are. So when she urged us to get to the car, it didn't surprise me when this word came firmly from my mouth, _

"_No," I said. _

_Renee didn't register it at first, opening the door and waving for me to come. _

"_I said no," I shouted, "I'm not leaving." _

"_Bella, don't be ridiculous." Renee reached for my hand, but I snatched it back, not wanting her to touch me. _

"_Alice,"__ I looked towards my twin. She was my sister, she was my twin, but most importantly, she was my best friend, "You don't have to go." _

_Alice's eyes watered as she looked up at our mother and then to our father. I could almost see the calculation behind her eyes, wondering what her future would be if she chose whom. In my mind__,__ it was simple. Renee was the one choosing to leave so Renee could leave –by herself. _

_Why would Alice choose her? We agreed on everything. She knew that Renee was in the wrong. _

_And most of all, why would she leave me?_

"_I- I'm going to leave," Alice whispered before clearing her thro__at, "I'm going with Mom." _

_My throat closed as she trailed over to Dad and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He held her in a tight embrace, whispering something to her, then letting her go. Renee came to me, holding my face in her hands as she stared into the eyes that contrasted hers, but the face that was like hers in every way,_

"_Please, baby," she cried, "Come with me." _

_I pulled my face away from her turning to go and sit with my father on the steps. Before I was able to reach the steps__,__ my hand was clasped by one I had felt on many occasion. Normally this hand would provide me with comfort, but now it made me feel as if a stranger was violating me. _

"_B," Alice tried to hug me, "I'm sorry. You know that I love you. It doesn't have to change between us. You're __still my best friend." _

_I shoved her as__ide,__not caring about the way her heart seemed to shatter as I said the words I had never meant more in my life, _

"_You're dead to me." _

There was no need even to wipe my eyes as I finished the memory of the day our family had been broken apart. It had been three years since that day. Three years to ponder, cry, and wonder why all this had happened.

Was it me?

Was it Charlie?

Was it Forks?

It couldn't be because she didn't leave the city, she simply moved into a house with Phil Dwyer.

Charlie has never been the same since she left, but the scab has hardened over for both of us. We relied on each other more than I thought a father and daughter could, or even should. I held him many of the nights he cried, and he became my best and only friend. With that major change in my life, I couldn't stand to see or be around Alice. Those who had once been my friends were now enemies in my eyes. Since they were a common factor between the two of us, I had to disengage myself from them. Rosalie, Angela, Jasper, Emmett, and Jacob…Edward –I left them in the dust.

None of them followed when I needed them the most.

It has all lead up to the present, where I have long learned to turn my head from their group. The sting of their laughter and happiness doesn't hurt anymore, due to my immunity, and the quick glances they sometimes spare me, now rolled off like water on a buffered surface.

We no longer talked, they no longer said hello; we just existed, their world no longer even brushing lightly against mine. So as I returned to my music it was almost too easy to slip back into the new me, the one who cared for nothing but Charlie. The only thing I noticed of their existence was their laughter –although I never heard Alice's voice again.

_~camp~_

"You have got to be kidding me," a nasally sounding voice said as I entered my cabin.

I walked back out and shut the door.

"Mr. Mason," I stalked after the teacher that was trailing past with his suitcase, "Mr. Mason!"

"Ah, Isabella," the old man smiled. I was surprised he could even handle that degree of physical exertion, "What can I do for you?"

"You can move me out of that room, and into a room with a pack of wolves," I asked, "Please, Mr. Mason, you don't understand. If I go in that room, I will never come out."

Mr. Mason laughed, "You're quite the funny one, Ms. Swan. I'm sure the rain will be fine."

Of course.

I turned around, made the sign of the cross, and then entered the lions' den.

"Are you ill in the head or something," Jessica continued, "Shut the door."

I closed the wooden door, still wondering if the outside would serve as a more hospitable environment. Hell, I'm sure the underworld would serve as a more hospitable ground in this instant.

"Who let you in here," Irina Hayes eyed me.

Tanya rolled over in her bed, her strawberry blonde hair fanned out all over the pillow, "Ew."

_Ouch, what the hell was that? _

_**That was us getting insulted.**_

_It hurt._

_**I know esteem, I know. **_

A few years ago, I wouldn't have been the least bit self-conscious around the likes of Tanya Denali, Irina Hayes, or Jessica Stanley. I could feel my IQ dropping with every second I was in their presence. Now, however, I felt the sting of their words. Though they were just pretty faces in killer bodies, with nothing in between, they exuded confidence that I no longer possess, and in a twisted way, I envied their boldness.

Miffed, I dragged my bag through the door, and hefted it up and over, onto the top bunk to the right of the cabin, the only bunk that was free. I climbed up the ladder, each rung separating me from the Cujo triplets. The cabin ceiling was an arm's length from my face, and if I made the horrid mistake of sitting up too fast, I would surely smack the little bit of uncool I had, out of me.

"The sad thing is that she hasn't been a freak all her life," Tanya sighed.

"She couldn't have been that cool," Jessica, snorted, "I mean have you seen those eyebrows?"

"Um, guys," Irina said, "You know she's still in the room right?"

The three turned to look up at the spot that I had returned to over an hour ago. I wanted to brush it off, but there were only so many insults you could marinate in, before they began to seep inside. I didn't care about the popularity I'd given up –for all I cared I could be that kid who sits in the back of Calculus and plays with his protractor. But when they called me a freak, it kind of struck home.

There was always a small part of me that wondered why I hadn't snapped back after all these years, or if I made the right decision in giving up my other friends. But how could we all have peacefully coexisted when I couldn't look at Alice without wanting to wrap my fingers around her slender little neck and just _squeeze? _

Should I have tried to make new friends?

There'd been several instances where I had the opportunity to replenish my supply of friends, but it was useless. It was as if the bitter taste of resentment sat at the back of my tongue and every time I tried to speak friendly words, the distaste was too strong, overwhelming even.

With each new companion, came another new excuse as to why I disliked him or her. Mike was too friendly, Lauren was too unfriendly, Eric was too touchy, Bree talked too much, Victoria talked too little… I started to wonder if I was creating reasons. I started to wonder if I was looking for people who were just like them.

Tired and wanting to shut my brain off, I fell asleep to the serenade of insults coming from the bunks beneath me.

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Thanks for reading, and stay tuned!

~Christie Hart


	3. The Things

A/N: Thanks so much for your kind reviews/alerts. They are highly appreciated! Hearing all of your opinions about the characters and where the plot might go makes all the difference in my writing process (: I have to put a quick shout out in here too for readers who have carried on my last fanfic -I've remembered your user names, and it makes me smile having your support! You know what is also appreciated? The awesome work that SUNFLOWER3759 does to make sure these chapters are not riddled with cringe-worthy mistakes.

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own these characters, but I hope you guys enjoy what I do with them!

Note: Please take a quick look at the A/N at the bottom.

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** The Things We Do or Don't Say**

My tray clattered to the ground for the third time in two days, and the serving woman gave me a sympathetic shake of the head as she reached for her mop. Irina's fake apologies burned in my ears, making the knife I was holding look much more useful than before. I picked up what I could, and disposed of it, muttering a sincere apology to the woman stuck with the task of cleaning up the mess. I raced from the cafeteria, my ears ringing with anger as I made my way to my quickly discovered safe haven.

My legs swung like pendulums to the bars above me, effectively moving my body the way I wanted. The swing pushed back and forth lamely. I didn't want to be soaring. I'd given up that privilege years ago, and had resigned myself to a life where the only changes were slight disturbances in my position. No, I couldn't soar anymore, so I enjoyed the soft movement of the swaying seat. I closed my eyes, and embraced the shift of equilibrium whizzing past my ears.

I tried to remember the hike from early today. Although I'd been alone for the entire excursion, I was still able to appreciate the vast greenery and wildlife of these forests. I could remember the sloping land, and the sound of the birds harmonizing in the canopies. There was also the perfume of the forest; a musty smell of earth combined with a pungent smell of wet shrubs. But most of all, I remembered the sunken pond we'd seen. Its depth had been so intimidating that I had unconsciously taken a step back. Water gushed into the body, creating a calming sound. Just the music of the rippling and crashing liquid was a comfort to me. I kept my eyes closed as I pictured the scenery, drowning in the image of it.

I was so into the element of the day that I didn't hear _him _coming.

"Hey," the voice came. I had heard this voice before, but it hadn't been directed at me in over a year. I didn't know why this made it more foreign, but it did. All I could do was stare at him as the swing slowed down and stilled.

"I, uh," he rubbed the back of his neck, his fingers pushing through the bronze locks at his hairline. Even in the night, I could see the flicker of his green eyes. The moon reflected off his orbs, gaining confidence once it saw how beautiful its rays could be. "You looked pretty beat in there."

Perhaps the swinging motion had dislodged my brain from its socket, or maybe, God had found it particularly funny to strike me dumb at that moment. Whatever it was, I was not able to respond to Edward. Ashe stood there, we just watched each other, me with a look of futility in my eyes, and him with something unidentifiable in his.

After he had left, I didn't feel like swinging any more.

_~camp~_

I stare at my blank canvas, and picture five other possible deaths. They all seem much more appealing than this.

The juniors and seniors at the surrounding tables stroked and stippled, in their minds each of them becoming the next Picasso. I scratched my thumb against the white plain, wondering how much pressure it would take just to bust through it. It shouldn't be this hard to paint something on this infernal, blank square. I could just dip my fingers in three of the colors, strike it across the board and I'd have an abstract painting. The variations of creations amused me, the range stretching from cartoon cows to still portraits of the scenery around us. All the while, I remained with this useless piece of crap in my hands. It wasn't even a _colorful, _useless piece of crap. As much as I hated to do it, I glanced at the portrait beside me.

Now when I say there was no way to avoid this situation, there was really _no _way to avoid this situation. The only way I would voluntarily sit next to Edward Cullen, was if the last seat available was next to a rabid dog, and it just so happened that it was next to Jessica. I glanced at her portrait of a large, high-heeled shoe. Typical.

"You know you're not getting graded for this," Edward whispered playfully, "You don't have to cheat."

"Don't flatter yourself Cullen," I rolled my eyes, and turned my body away from him.

After that small exchange, we remained silent for the next fifteen minutes. I tried to hold my eyes to my own canvas, not wanting to warrant any of his attention. But why would you look at something so dull and white when there was a masterpiece happening beside you? He painted flawlessly, an abstract design of various colors. I couldn't even describe what it was he was drawing since it was so … amorphous. I pushed the envy away, wishing that I had some type of talent. Can extensive reading be considered a talent? Maybe I could win an award for the most abrasive personality.

"Do you want some help thinking of ideas?" Edward asked.

"No," I muttered, "I don't want your help."

"You know," he huffed before turning towards me and lowering his voice, "I'm just trying to be nice."

"Yah, well, don't," I said.

"So what, now we can't even be civil?" He scoffed.

"I'd prefer if you'd just go back to pretending I don't exist," I answered.

"As if you don't pretend the same," he shook his head, "Wow, Bella."

After that, we didn't share any more comments. The silence between us was so deafening, so uncomfortable, that I finally had to remove myself from the table. I harshly shoved my chair back before scrambling to leave the room that had suddenly seemed to shrink. On the table, I left behind, my stupid canvas, still square, still boring, and still blank.

_~camp~_

Twigs snapped beneath our feet as beams coming from our flashlights lamely lighted the forest. A foot magically appeared before me, sending me sprawling onto the debris, covered ground.

I was reacquainted with the forest floor for the third time that night.

The sad thing was that it was only the first time Jessica had tripped me.

The saucer above us seemed broken by the fingers of the trees, only allowing us to see pieces of it in the pitch-black sky. If I stood really still, and focused really hard, I could see the stars scattered all over space. Forks wasn't large enough to conceal the shine of the stars, so I saw them often. But that didn't stop the comfort I got when I was in their presence. Ever since I was a child, I believed Timmons's theory that the stars were angels suspended in space, keeping an eye on me.

Ugh, the tiredness is getting to me.

Who the hell plays man vs. aliens at two in the morning?

I had it my way, I would be back at camp right now, snuggled into the depths of my rigid, camp bed, regaining some of the warmth back into my toes. For the next twenty minutes of travel, I tripped another two times, thoroughly bruising my knees on the other side of my jeans. Well, on the other side of my shorts, under my sweat pants, inside of my jeans. What can I say? It was cold.

"Seriously Bella," Jessica barked, "I've seen a man with genital warts walk better than you."

_The last guy you slept with? _

"Alright," Mr. Banner yelled, "Everyone listen up. You need to pay attention so that we can assure everyone's safety here."

I could see the words passing through their ears, not registering to any one of them. For the fifth time in our experience here, we were guided through the emergency procedures. I didn't pay too much attention –I had already committed it to memory.

"There will be two groups –men and aliens. The objective is to capture the prized possession of the opposing team while also knocking out members by removing the tags you have been supplied with. Is everyone clear? Any questions?"

"Do we honestly have to travel with these backpacks the entire time," a boy named James complained, "How are we supposed to run with this?"

"It's for your own safety," I could practically hear Mr. Banner's eyes roll, "Any _smart _questions?"

The group was silent.

"Right, you are required to stay within camp limits. Do not, I repeat, do not go off the trail. You will, I repeat again, you will get lost. Not only that, but you will officially be entering bear territory. Are we clear?"

The group gave collective affirmation, as some trudged and others galloped towards their destinations. My group trailed to where our base was. How we found it, I had no idea. Everything in the forest looked the same to me. The only thing stopping us from getting lost was the dirt trail, lit with a few reflectors. I knew we were bordering the Olympic National Forest, however, I was at a loss as to exactly where we were. I gave a small prayer, asking for some coordination for the rest of the night –morning. At that time, I would be able to return to the cabin, and continue my countdown of the days I had left to be subjected to this pointlessness.

However, the sad thing was that I couldn't even say that I had better things to do with my life because I didn't. The only thing I could picture being better than this was sleep.

Figures I would be put in the group with _them_. I watched as a spectator in the background, surveying their giggling, teasing, and horsing around. Rosalie was positioned on Emmett's back as he gave her a piggyback ride, weaving in and out of the trees. I took in her wide smile, blindingly white in the forest's night.

She looked so happy.

I wondered if she had ever even missed me.

"_Bella," Rosalie leaned down and pressed a firm__ kiss to my cheek. Like always, my face brightened red__._

"_Gah, Rose," I wiped off my cheek__,__ and leaned up from my lying position. It was around nine at night and normally none of us climbed into each other's rooms at this time. Switching on the light__,__ I caught sight of her tear-painted cheeks. Rosalie wasn't one to cry often, so I knew that something must have happened. It was times like these that I was glad Alice wasn't here. Although we were closer than anything was to each other, our friends weren't necessarily the same. Rosalie and I had formed a bond, one that was deeper than hers and Alice's. It was in the same way that Alice spent more of her time with Angela. "What are you doing over here?" _

"_I-I don't know. Mom and Royce were fighting again," she shrugged, and hopped onto the bed, "I just needed a friend." _

"_That's what I'm here for," I yawned, opening up my covers for her to crawl under. Her c__orn silk __hair piled onto my pillow, the familiar smell of Dove's body soap tickling at my nose. _

_ The rest of the night we just lay there. I didn't ask Rose why her brother and mom seemed to fight so much, and I didn't try to give her false reassurance that it would stop. All we did was lay and listen to each other's breathing, thinking about everything and nothing, watching the stars wink and gleam from the other side of my sky window. _

And now, she was nothing to me.

By now I didn't care whether it was her fault or mine, but I wondered, who had let go first?

"_Why have you been avoiding me,"__ Rosalie slammed my bedroom window. _

"_What are you talking about," I closed my book, turning around from my desk, "When is the last time you tried to talk to me Rosalie?" _

_She glanced at the empty bed on the other side of my room, the tension intensifying with that small movement. _

"_So what –you and Alice have a spat, so we're through?" She marched up to me, "That's really how much I meant to you?" _

"_A spat," I gripped the hem of my shirt, restraining myself from shoving her away, "My family split and you're calling that a spat? Are you dense?" _

"_I'm trying to fix this," Rosalie threw her hands in the air, "I'm trying to fix what's happening to us. Not only you and me, but you and Jasper, Emmett, Jacob, Angela, Edward –have you forgot about them Bella? Your best friends –your boyfriend?" _

"_He's not my boyfriend," I rolled my eyes, stalking past her. _

"_You broke up with him?" her eyes widened. _

"_I'm fifteen –there's plenty of fish in the sea," I said, murmuring shortly after, _

"_What?" Rosalie's voice split, "What's going on with you? This isn't you Bella." _

"_This is me," I shouted, "It's the new me. So shit off Hale." _

_Her lips quivered and opened__,__ but didn't produce any sound. It was only as she reached the window that she finally spoke to me, "Go to hell, Bella." _

"Bella," James gave me a sharp shove, "Go do something useful would you?"

_I will when you remove the stick from your ass. _

Of course, I didn't say this.

With the loss of my friends went the loss of the razor sharp attitude that I was noted for the best. Alice was the twin known for her angel-like grace. My personality had been one that either people liked me for or they didn't.

We were always contrasting. Whether it was looks, or personalities, we were always different in some way. Yet somehow, we got along. It was almost as if we were made to balance one another. I needed her to keep me in check, and she needed me to stick up for her. I gave her confidence, and she gave me calm. When Alice was gone, I didn't have anyone to keep me in check. It was as if I had this burning anger inside me that I unleashed on anyone who dared to cross me. I pushed anyone away who tried to get near, and I erased anyone who had written on my life. I had an out of control hate that I didn't know what to do with or how to handle.

That was until my first confrontation with Tanya.

"_So Bella," Tanya blocked the bathroom exit, "I heard you and Edward ar__e done." _

"_Great, your ears are working," I tried to pass her, "but what you didn't hear is that you need to move when people are trying to leave." _

"_You think you're still cool?" she scoffed, "The only reason why people put up with you was because of who you hung out with." _

"_Do I look like I care Tanya," I rolled my eyes, "You seem to care more than me.__ That's pathetic." _

"_Face it Bella," she smirked, "Soon everyone's going to leave you, just like your deadbeat mom. And nothing you say next can stop that." _

After that, I had convinced myself it wasn't worth it anymore to fight back.

I didn't want anyone to respect me anymore.

I didn't want anyone even to notice me anymore.

If they were already going to leave, then couldn't I just make it easier? I became the shell of myself, the person that no one expected me to be. I became cold, and frigid and unloved.

I lost all existence.

Leaving my trip down memory lane behind, I suddenly realized where I was.

A hot puff of air, accompanied by a growl, fanned over my face. I connected back to reality, the picture before me not quite registering. All I could see was black; black fur, black eyes, and a black sky. I took a step backward, and looked at the whole picture, only to realize that I was face to face with a beast. Its long black face was inches from mine, huffing and panting as it began to bare its teeth. My life passed before me in one brief moment, and I have to say I was more than a bit disappointed.

I had spent a lot of time reading.

"Bella," a voice wavered close behind me, a cry evident as she began to panic, "_Oh my God, Bella." _

"Shut up, Alice," I whispered quickly, "Just shut the fuck up."

The beast huffed, almost as if it were challenging me. Trust me bear, you don't need to challenge me. We both know who would win.

What the hell do you do when you are face to face with a bear … in a confrontation with a bear?

A tune germinates in my mind, one that I had learned as a little girl. Charlie had been insistent on Alice and me knowing basic survival information, and so had taught us a variety of mnemonic devices pertaining to the forest.

_If I'm a Grizzly or a Polar bear, and not on attack,_

_Play dead on your stomach, and not on your back, _

_Black bear I'm a climber, so stay off those trees, _

_If I'm a Grizzly, just climb faster than me._

_Running right in front of me, aint as you should. _

_Changing your directions will do you some good. _

_Trying to leave politely, keep your face on mine please. _

_Or use anything, so you're as tall as can be. _

"Leave … turn and leave, but do not run," I told the others, summarizing the song, "…and keep changing directions."

My eyes connected briefly with Alice as I conveyed the message for her to go. They all began to cooperate, slowly backing up in different directions. It would have gone perfectly fine if the bear hadn't roared.

Is that even what bears do? Do they roar?

I could hear their feet as the others around me ran, escaping from the danger area. Slowly, I backed away from the beast, speaking slowly and calmly. It took notice of me … taking in my foreign, hairless features. I kept my mouth closed, not wanting to bare any teeth. As I backed away, I fumbled with the pepper spray located in the small pocket of my bag. I sprayed it in front of me, hoping that no wind would carry it back towards me. The bear sniffed, distracted by the harmful spray. I thought I was in the clear, before it proceeded to take a few more steps towards me, slowly. I backed up in response and continued a steady pace backwards. The faster I went, the faster the bear traveled. I realized that I wasn't going to be able to walk my way out of this one.

So I died.

.

..

…

Okay, so obviously I didn't actually die, but the bear didn't need to know that.

My face hit against the ground painfully as I dropped to the forest floor. I braced my hands behind my head, hoping that if any attack was unleashed that my brain would be protected. Dirt wet my face as the leaves below me scratched at my skin. But I would gladly make out with anything below me if it meant that I would live to see another day. I could hear the heavy steps of the bear, but couldn't decipher whether it was coming towards me, or moving away.

I didn't dare lift my head to check.

I let a long amount of time pass before I decided to raise my head the slightest bit off the dirt floor. When I looked up, I saw that I was left alone, the only living things around me being the tall trees, and earth crawlers. I peeled myself from the ground, and stood, very aware of the fact that I had no idea where I was.

How far had I backed up?

Where the hell was the trail?

Step by step, I wandered deeper into the woods, trying to figure out which way I came. I searched the ground for my prints or the bear's, but neither had held shape in the mattress of leaves. That, and the fact that I couldn't really decipher anything in this darkness. It was only after a few minutes of wandering blindly that I remembered I had an emergency backpack strapped to me and that it must contain some form of assistance. The moment my hand hit the metal flashlight, I heard voices.

"Hello," I called, not wanting to raise my voice in case the bear was still nearby. But I was lost, and alone, and as much as I liked my isolation, being by myself in the woods was not what I called comforting. I began to run in the direction of the voices as I yelled, trying to get their attention. My foot caught on the air, sending me tumbling forward. Instead of the hard ground which I'd become acutely acquainted with, I was met with a hard body, and a hearty laugh.

"Emmett," I groaned as I took myself off of him, "W-what are you guys doing here?"

"Oh God, Bella," I was pulled into thin arms, ones I hadn't felt for a long time, "You're alive. I thought –I mean, we all thought-,"

"Yah, whatever," I unwound Alice's arms from around me, "I'm fine. Now let's just get back to camp."

The others looked at me briefly before continuing their walk. None of them attempted to bring me into their conversations, and I didn't attempt to join. The five of them walked before me, leaving me to flank. With a fleeting thought, I noted that Angela and Jacob weren't here. They'd probably already reached the campgrounds. Now, more than ever, as the cold began to set in, I longed for the lumpy bed. The adrenaline of being confronted by a bear had worn off, and all I was left with was the same empty and numb feeling from before, the one that told me that it knew waking up today wasn't worth it.

I should have just stayed in bed.

As we walked, the empty, numb feeling gave way to a new one. A jittery presence began to bubble in my stomach, my nerves making themselves known. I looked at the faces of the others and knew that they too were starting to have this feeling. It was taking us much too long to get back.

We walked for what felt like hours. None of us wanted to say anything because we feared that we would reveal the awful truth. I glanced up at the bruised sky as daylight tried to appear; not even the sun could provide comfort under these circumstances. Pain radiated through my feet from the endless walking. Tree after tree, rock after rock, the nature that had once brought me considerable peace was now horribly monotonous. Perhaps it had been horribly monotonous before, I just hadn't minded it.

Now I had the sick desire to light a match to the forest.

I glanced at the faces around me. Rosalie clung to Emmett's thick arm, Jasper towed Alice's large bag, and Edward followed behind, sticking in their company. Once again, I was in the background, not only because they were excluding me, but because I refused to associate myself with them even in times like these. Alice glanced back at me, an unidentifiable expression appearing in her eyes. The look changed into a glare, whether it was conscious or not was yet to be determined. I lifted a hand lowering my fingers until only one lonely digit, was left. She turned back, no longer acknowledging my existence.

As if I could care less.

The day went on.

We continued to walk.

I didn't know how long we had been trekking. Time had lost meaning within the confines of this forest. We hadn't been permitted to take our cellphones, and none of us wore watches. I used the amount of light as a rough indicator. We had entered this forest when the moon sourced the only light, and now, we were being blinded by the light of the sun. My legs ached with exertion. Never, in my life, had I walked for so many hours. The day was passing quickly, and we were still under the dense cover of the forest. I knew that the evening would be approaching soon, and that thought terrified me.

Scorching sun began to disappear once more, giving way to rain. I could feel the last of my resolve and confidence begin to crumble with every fat teardrop released from above. The sky returned to its signature grey, the cumulus clouds swarming and dominating the atmosphere.

I stopped walking, entranced with the doom that seemed to be rolling our way.

The sky laughed at us in the form of thunder while veins of lightning stretched across its darkened skin. I no longer could tell which tears belonged to me, and which belonged to the sky above. I sunk to the ground, allowing the rain to pool around me, hoping that it might actually just drown me. That had to be a better death than the slow one we would be enduring in the oncoming days.

I could see it on their faces too as they stopped and looked at me. Instead of making fun, and instead of whispering as they always did, they looked at me with understanding. They all understood what was happening, even though none of us wanted to say it aloud. It was then I realized I would have to rely on these faces –on my former friends, the ones I hated so intently.

And since none of us would say it, I volunteered myself to state the words that would begin the hardest, most trying time of our lives.

The words that would inevitably bind us together, alive, or dead; whichever way we came out of this.

The words that were the agonizing truth…

"Guys," I whispered, glancing at the trees around us that seemed to stretch forever in all directions …

"We're lost."

* * *

Okay, so a few things you should know about this story:

1. There will be two parts to it, so you should be expecting a sequel. I feel like there is a lot of heavy content matter that should not be crammed into this one installment. Because of this, "Camp" is actually only about 8 long chapters. I'm still fine-tuning everything (with the help of SUNFLOWER3759), so it takes me some time to put out chapters.  
2. A lovely reviewer asked if I will be telling this story from any other POV. Unfortunately, I will not :(  
3. I've noticed after uploading chapters that some of the words in the final product are merged together. I'll try my hardest to catch all of these mutant words, but I can't promise to get all of them. This is an issue with the uploading, not me, or SUNFLOWER3759.

And LASTLY,

I hope you stay tuned.  
~CH


	4. The Memories

**A/N: Hey everybody! Sorry for the late post -school is back in session *shudder*. Thank you to all the viewers and reviewers -you motivate me! This chapter is pretty short, but I hope you enjoy it. Just a quick thanks to SUNFLOWER3759, who makes this story readable. And another quick note: as for the 'realistic' aspect of this fanfic...remember it's a fanfic. I don't know whether that bear would have eaten them in real life or not (even though I did look up proper bear etiquette). That, and I've never been to the Olympic region, so if the story is geographically inaccurate...bear (haha get it? bear?) with me (: **

* * *

**The Memories We Can but Don't Want to Remember**

"Okay," Edward finally said, "Nobody panic."

"What do you mean nobody panic," Alice screeched, "We are lost—lost, Edward, not playing on the jungle gym in the Rainforest Café. We're lost in the bloody Olympic where live things like the bear we just escaped will gladly eat me for an appetizer, Emmett for a meal, and you for dessert. Then he'll probably pick his teeth with Bella!"

I eyed Alice wearily, and scooted a few feet away from her.

"Look, I think Edward's right," Jasper butted in, "I mean it's not going to help us if we freak out. Everyone just take a deep breath."

"Your last breath," Emmett muttered.

"Not helping," Rosalie slapped his arm, "So what are we going to do?"

"Keep walking," Emmett suggested, "See if we can trace our way out of here."

"Yah, because that worked before," Jasper rolled his eyes.

As the arguing grew louder, and the suggestions more insolent, I ducked my head between my knees. Rain dripped from the crown of my head, traveling down my collarbone and entering my clothes. It didn't matter anyways –the ground had already made me soaking wet. A feeling of helpless washed over me, as well as utter defeat. The odds of us getting out of here were slim, and the odds of _all of us _getting out of here were slimmer.

_So what, you're just going to sit down and accept death? _

_**I know…I know. I just –I can't do this. **_

_We've been pretty pathetic in the past, but this is a new low._

_**What do you want me to do? **_

_Fight Bella. _

_You know what to do. _

_Get up. _

So despite the fact that I was already showing the second sign of insanity by hosting an inner dialogue, I complied. With the new mindset, I plucked at the remaining energy I had, and promised myself that even though I had forsaken the people around me, and they had discarded me, I would not let them die. As if God was agreeing with me, and felt some sense of pity, He reopened the sky and allowed the sun to shine once more.

"We need to stay here," I told them, gaining the attention from the surrounding bodies.

"Oh look, she can talk," Rosalie threw her hands up in the air, "And why, pray tell, should we sit here? You probably just want to watch us rot."

"Think about what you just said, Hale," I rolled my eyes, "If I'm watching you rot, doesn't that mean I'll still be here? I want to get out of here just as much as you do. Contrary to your belief, the sun that's shining right now does not originate from your ass."

"Why you little-," she lunged towards me, but her actions were thwarted by Emmett.

"Enough," Edward intervened, "I-I think she's right. We're all not in our best form right now. Maybe we should set up shelter. Let's think through what we're facing here."

With a grumble, the group agreed, settling themselves down on the ground. While we sat, I acquainted myself with my emergency pack. There were few things of interest, most of them being dehydrated food and small packets of water. The main treasures seemed to be the two blankets, a mini first aid kit, a pocketknife, and matches.

"Oh my God, my matches are wet," Alice wailed as she threw them down.

"Mine too," Emmett sighed as he chucked his into the pile.

"Does anyone have dry matches," Jasper asked, "Maybe we can signal for help?"

"If you haven't noticed –we're surrounded by wood," Rosalie said, "How about we not kill ourselves?"

"We wouldn't be able to start a fire now if we wanted," Edward reminded them, "Everything is completely soaked. Let's just try to wait for things to dry a bit, and regain some energy. If we do need to do any more walking, it will have to be tomorrow –darkness is coming."

I felt the blood drain from my face at the prospect of spending another night in here. We were lucky enough to escape the bear, but what were we going to face tonight … a pack of wolves?

Not only that, I knew the chances of survival dropped considerably with each night spent without proper living conditions. How long would it be before one of us got hurt? How long could this food and water sustain us? And the question that racked my brain the most was, how were we going to survive the cold?

The irony was that as I was considering the dropping temperature of the night, I was actually sweating. My skin prickled under the intense heat of the present sun, telling me that it was burning from the attention. Slowly, I disrobed myself, removing the many layers of clothing I'd put on at the crack of dawn this morning. I snorted to myself when I thought of the lameness of all of this. We had come out here to play man vs alien, and now we were here playing man vs. wild. But this time, losing was not an option. I set up my clothes on the branches above me, creating a small shelter of shade where I could rest. I welcomed the cool feeling of the wet bark seeping through my thin tank top. I was also positive that my shirt was see-through at this point, but I couldn't care less.

"You are one smart duckling," Emmett said as he copied my actions. In a few minutes, all of us were camping beneath our clothes, trying not to suffocate in the heat. I couldn't even remember drifting off to sleep.

I woke up to a pain on my cheek. It was dull and throbbing but still apparent. I lifted a hand and touched at the hot skin, wincing when I felt the tenderness. When I opened my eyes fully, I realized that a fan of the sun's rays was resting on the right side of my face, eating away at the skin there.

"Shit," I whimpered as I probed the area with my fingertips. The skin from the outer tip of my eyebrow to half way down my face had been thoroughly singed. I searched in the bag for some sunscreen, only to realize that there was none. Instead, I was left to search through the first aid kit, looking for something that would suffice.

"That is the worst sunburn I've ever seen," Edward's voice caused me to jump, "Sorry."

"It's nothing," I shook my head before continuing my scavenging.

"Here, let me help," he said as he scooted closer. He tilted my head up to get a better look. I pulled my face away, not wanting to be sucked into the feel of his fingers.

"I would rather the sunburn," I snapped, turning away.

He was so silent that I had thought he'd left. I was only reminded of his presence when he said, "What did I do?"

"Nothing," I murmured as a tear dropped, burning my face as it escaped, "That's the whole point."

_~camp~_

My dad used to say this quote by Ruth Benedict that went, _'The trouble in life isn't that there is no answer, it's that there are so many answers.'_

Why is that kind of shit always right?

We all lay down, spouting off ideas as to what to do next, or how to be rescued. The truth was that there were so many suggestions, and so many answers to our problems, but the real question was 'which one is the right one?' I listened to Emmett, who was trying to distract us from the weight of the situation. For as long as I'd known him, that was always his duty. He had to ensure that everyone was happy. This quirk of his was serving to be a blessing, taking our minds off of the fact that we had no clue where we were, and, therefore, no one had any clue where to find us.

I continued listening but kept my distance. No matter the circumstances, the fact remained that they were not my friends. I reminded myself of this, but still felt betrayed when I heard Emmett recount their past. None of their memories included me.

_They moved on. _

_So did you. _

_**Did I? **_

The chill of the night started to arrive, warning us of the later temperatures. I pulled on another article of dry clothing, hoping that I could at least get toasty before I would lose all the heat in my body. I glanced up at the darkening sky, spewing hateful thoughts at the sun that had scorched my face and then had the nerve to run away. Soon the darkness would take over, and we'd be left with the critters of the night.

"We should start a small fire, now that it's dry," I said, once again becoming the target of their stares. Honestly, if they didn't stop staring, I was going to hit one of them. Probably Alice…I'd been dying to hit her anyways.

"I know you're a bit slow, so I'll help you," Rosalie started, "Matches plus trees equal big fire."

Never mind, Rosalie was looking like a prime target now.

"Actually," Alice spoke up, "Um, Bella and I used to go camping all the time with my dad when we were little. We always made fires so we could roast marshmallows… as long as it's small and we contain it, we should be fine."

Rosalie glared at Alice before re-positioning herself beside Emmett. The rest of us got to work, finding all the dry tinder we could scrounge and adding it to a pile. After a little coercing, I got the rest of them to donate a few strips of their wool blankets to the fire. Testing the matches was like playing Russian roulette –you could never be sure which would work, and which would be a dud. We finally struck gold on one of Jasper's matches, and were able to start a small flame. Within the next few minutes, it grew to a healthy volume, able to provide us with at least a small semblance of heat. We all huddled near, warming our toes and fingers on the flames. However, I kept my head far away, despite the numbness of my nose. There was no way in hell I was going to burn anywhere else on my face.

"Emmett, you can't roast your jerky," Rosalie chastised.

"Just making lemonade, baby," he smirked, "just making lemonade."

I stared at the fire, willing the flickering of the flames to take over all of my senses. The others talked around me, deep in their own conversations. I saw Edward cast a few glances my way, but I turned my head, not wanting to be caught in his stare.

In the silence, I realized that the worst kind of lonely was when you felt alone even with people surrounding you. Despite the watering of my eyes, I remained staring, picking through the many memories that my mind brought forth, desperate to fill the silence within my head.

_The sweet smell of the marshmallows __mixed with the pungent smell of the campfire smoke. My eyes stung from the ashes__,__ while a thin layer of sweat was on my forehead. I wiped it away with one hand, the other hand busy with the task of roasting. Fire caused the membrane of the treat to bubble, eating away at the white skin. I extinguished the flames with my breath before popping the gooey, gelatinous sugar into my mouth. I hummed in satisfaction, enjoying my last marshmallow before I would have to move away from the fire. Renee always complained that the frequent camping trips __would aggravate my asthma. _

"_Uh, Bella," Edward cleared his throat from beside me._

"_Yah, Edward," I smiled, licking my lips as I cleared the white evidence. _

"_C-can I hold your hand?" He __asked. _

"_You don't have to __ask__,__ stupid," I rolled my eyes, "You're my boyfriend." _

_ He entwined his sticky fingers with mine, timidly pulling our hands until they rested in his lap. With my pinky__,__ I lazily drew patterns on his jean clad thigh. His breath grew ragged __and stopped completely once he took a gulp. I watched the small lump in his throat bobble up, and then back down, fascinated with its movements. Raising my eyes, I took sight of his plump lips. Without thinking, I lifted my hand and stroked at his bottom lip, causing him to jump. _

"_Did I hurt you," I whispered. _

"_No," Edward murmured, "It feels nice."_

_ I leaned my head against his shoulder, still using my hand to stroke at his face. I took a few detours, touching at the column of his neck, and pulling my fingers through his copper strands that seemed to be aflame from the light of the fire. Then my fingers returned to his lips, loving the softness of them under my fingers. I loved everything about Edward, from his freckled face down to his oddly shaped big toe. _

"_Edward," I pulled my hand away, "Why haven't you kissed me as yet?"_

_Even in the darkness I could see his fiery blush, "W-what do you mean?" _

"_Tanya Denali said that we're not really boyfriend and girlfriend because you haven't kissed me as yet," my eyebrows furrowed._

"_Tanya Denali doesn't know anything,__" Edward rolled his eyes._

"_Well, why haven't you done it yet," I asked, slightly whining. _

_Suddenly he stood, and wrapped his hand around mine before tugging me away, "Come on," he said. _

_We received a number of questioning glances as we walked away from the campfire. Charlie gave us a warning look__,__ but was soon placated by Renee. We made our way further into the small woods, Edward's hand holding mine firmly so that I never fell. Finally we stopped, the only sound around us being the creek not far off and our slow breaths. I began to say something, but I was interrupted in the best way possible. _

_ Edward's lips were softer than they looked. They pressed against mine, softly and nervously, unsure of my response. Hell, it was my first kiss__,__ so I didn't even know what to do either. So I went with what I had learned from the TV, and began to move my lips too. It was sloppy and awkward, and I couldn't stop myself from giggling once we bumped noses. _

"_This isn't working," Edward chuckled._

_I laughed as well, his face still close enough to mine that I could feel his lips move. "Try again?" I suggested. _

_He nodded eagerly before returning his lips to mine. _

_ This one was much more successful, our faces tilted at a more comfortable angle. Slowly, he attached his hands to my hair, and cradled my head as he moved his lips against mine. Fisting my hands in his shirt, I drew myself closer, not stopping until we were as close as possible. His hands slipped to my hips, pulling me in. The sound he made startled me, causing me to pull back. He pressed one final kiss to my swollen lips, and then murmured for us to go back to the fire. Our faces both held the widest of smiles as we sat back down. _

By the time the memory concluded, I was left with a small smile on my face and wet cheeks. I wiped at my cheeks violently, causing myself to reel back from the pain. I gently touched my fingers to the hot, raw patch on my face, and another string of profanities was released. Since I no longer wanted to toast my face by the campfire, I relocated to a spot further away. Sure, it was much colder, but I was able to maintain clear thoughts with distance between the group and me. I lay my head down on my knees, and attempted to sleep.

"You're going to freeze out here."

I kept my head down, and counted the seconds until he would go away.

"Come on, stop being so stubborn," Jasper prodded, "we all need each other now."

"What, was it your turn to make rotation," I rolled my eyes, "I don't need any pep talk crap Jasper."

"You're the last person I would give a pep talk to," he chuckled, "I'm just reminding you."

"Trust me, I don't need a reminder of us being lost out here together," I told him, "I think the trees are a reminder enough."

"Then why won't you join us? Why won't you let us go through this together," he asked.

"We're not friends," I reminded him, "and getting lost in the woods isn't going to change that."

He sighed before wiping a hand over his face. He only sat with me for a few more moments, and then returned to the group who had been not so discreetly surveying our interaction.

What was their deal anyway?

I wasn't stupid enough to think I could do this on my own, but I also wasn't about to use this experience as an excuse to suddenly 'play nice'. What confused me was their behavior. Why did they care whether I was cold, or whether my face hurt, or whether I'd gotten eaten by a bear? As far as I was concerned, I'd already been dead to them for the longest while.

But a small part of me, an infinitesimal, nagging part, wondered if they had fully let go of the years we'd known each other. If I estimated, I could say I've known most of them for over ten years. Could I honestly just throw that decade in the garbage?

If it meant self-preservation, then I would.

Tired of the sounds around me, and tired of the people making those sounds, I curled over to face the tree and willed myself to sleep. Perhaps tomorrow we would be rescued, and I would be taken out of this cold hell.

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**Hope you're enjoying the story! Reviews are greatly appreciated (:  
**

~Christie


	5. The Line

A/N: I know, I know, I'm horrible. All I can do is apologize, thank **SUNFLOWER3759, **and thank you for your reviews and encouragement. That, and I hope you to enjoy :)

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**The Line between Resentment and Rationality**

It was uncomfortably silent.

We all sat or lay down in our different areas, and yet were all faced towards the extinguished fire. We wanted to preserve our fuel, not to mention that the sun was out and blazing so any additional heat was not appreciated.

I traced my fingers over my slick skin, the salt of my sweat burning against the raw surface. The forest floor had not done my face well, and I didn't recommend anyone to try that form of exfoliation.

We were all hopeless, not quite knowing what to do. We debated between waiting in the same area for help to come, or on taking some sort of initiative to find our way back. The group was split, with Rosalie, Edward, and I wanting to go, and Emmett, Jasper and Alice wanting to stay. After the heated conversations, we retreated to our areas, not quite wanting to step on any more toes. That, and the fact that I'd pretty much filled my conversation quota for the day.

"For God sakes Bella, would you let me look at your burn," Edward grumbled, "I think I can find something to put on it."

"Screw off, Edward," I answered lamely, not having the energy to tell him off any further.

_How could you possibly be tired? You've been sitting on your ass the whole day. _

_**Hey, being lost is **__**harder than it looks. **_

_Really? Because you seemed to have gotten yourself into this situation quite easily-,_

_**Shut up. **_

Rosalie and Alice have stripped down to their undergarments. The morning had brought a surprise shower, so they were allowing their clothes to dry. Since I didn't feel the need to parade around in the woods half naked, or for ants to have a better access to my crotch, I remained in my shorts. For once, I was happy about my quirky ways. Who would have thought my excessive layering would help me with survival? Not that the other girls minded revealing themselves to the boys they'd probably given their virginity to.

The sun relented a bit, and for more than the first time that day I gave a silent prayer of thanks to God. We seemed to be talking a lot lately. Or rather, I was making a lot of deals, bargaining even my entire head of hair to be taken out of this misery. I wondered if we were being searched for or if people had already given up and announced us dead. Then I had to remind myself that although it seemed like an eternity, we had only been lost for a day, and hoped that was all it would be. But I didn't see us getting rescued just by staying here. This all felt terribly counterproductive. We didn't know how far we were into the woods, or how close we were to civilization. For all I knew, it could be a few yards away, but we wouldn't know because we're just sitting here…dying out here slowly.

A scream came from Alice. It turned out a tree spider had found her ass particularly appealing.

I felt bad for the spider.

I didn't know how much time had passed since I woke up; one hour, two hours…twenty minutes? Jasper, Emmett, and Edward were all whittling branches –I know, _whittling _–while Rosalie and Alice tanned beneath the rays of the sun. I remained curled up, watching the trail of ants scurry back and forth. When I saw a pair of ants struggling with a leaf, I felt sympathy for the little creatures.

"Life's a bitch ain't it," I murmured as I plucked up the leaf and deposited the now disoriented critters by their nest hole.

"Bella," Alice called, "Would you just come and talk with us?"

I rolled my eyes, even if she couldn't see the action, "I would rather get lost in the Olympic, and die slowly in the same place –oh wait, that's what I'm doing now."

Needless to say, they didn't extend an invitation again.

"Guys," Edward cleared his throat, "I think we should try to find a stream. I mean, there's a whole bunch leading through here, and somewhere it should lead to civilization."

"Dude, we're in the Olympic," Emmett said, "There is no trying to find anything. Trying will end us up in the mountains somewhere, and then we sure as hell won't get out of here."

"Technically, we're only in a forest bordering the Olympic," Rosalie corrected him.

"Big difference," Emmett scoffed.

"Actually there is," Edward chimed back in, "The size makes it decidedly different. If we're only in one of the smaller forests, that means the river must be even closer."

"So we get to the river, and then what," Alice leaned up on her elbows, "Where do we go from there?"

"We walk downstream," Edward answered.

"Aren't rivers where bears get their _food_," Jasper asked.

"Yah, just like how forests are where bears live," Rosalie countered.

"Do you really think finding a river will help us?" Alice turned to Edward, "You don't think we'll get saved here?"

"I honestly don't," he shook his head, "I mean if staying here is helping…why haven't they found us as yet? And guys, we're running out of water."

"Well," Jasper scratched at his head, "We can't start walking now. Night is coming again."

"Every night we're in here it lessens our chances," Rosalie said, "We should start going now."

"Hold on, how's everyone feeling," Edward asked, "Besides having aching bodies, or hunger –how are we all feeling?"

The group consensus was positive.

"Good," Edward nodded, "Then we can wait until early morning. It's no use starting now, especially with this sun. Plus, it would be better for us to sleep now and get energized rather than having to build a new camp when we're worn out."

"Why don't we take the time to set some rules here," Jasper suggested, "create a buddy system, and share our general knowledge of the wild. That way we can all be on common grounds."

The group agreed, and began to gather their belongings so we could huddle around the extinguished fire to confer. I took the moment to escape behind a large oak, using the place we had designated as a bathroom. Thankfully, some intelligent soul stocked a secret zipper with a plethora of sanitary wipes. However, conditions were not the best; actually, they were deplorable, what if a person needed to ….

Great, now I was thinking about shit.

Literally.

Another fire had been started by the time I returned to our grounds. The girls had slipped back into their clothing, and the guys had shed theirs. I tried to keep my eyes glued to the ground, not wanting to seem interested. I supposed it would be understandable if I peeked. I mean Emmett, Jasper, and Edward were legendary in our school for their looks –how do you think they became so popular? Granted people loved their personalities, but that came after the fact. There was Emmett, the intimidating jock who had a genuine heart. Jasper was the smooth gentleman, always the one to make the girls melt. Then there was Edward, the freckled guy next door who wore his heart on his sleeve. Nothing about him was reserved, and nothing about him was artificial. Edward was wholly accepting, and loyal to those he loved. What made it worse was the fact that they were all, with the exception of Edward, dating extremely, attractive people. Rosalie Hale, self-proclaimed goddess, whose bark was just as bad as her bite, and Alice, the embodiment of joy and happiness; altruistic, energetic…and let's not forget … they were Forks High most influential people, beautiful and confident. I guess it shouldn't have surprised me that when they were through with me, everyone else was too.

I sat down in an open space in the circle, wedged between Emmett and Jasper. If I had to be truthful, I preferred them to the others. Although Jasper, Emmett and I didn't end our friendship in one great fight, their departure had still hurt me. Like everyone else around me, they began to fade away, first avoiding me, and then all together ignoring me. At times, they would reach out, maybe invite me to a movie, or spare me a call, but I knew who they would pick when it came down to it. They stopped fighting, and I stopped fighting. Since Alice, Rosalie, and Edward were already finished with me, they didn't see the need for me either. Yet I couldn't find it in me to blame them.

"Bella we were about to start with the basic rules," Jasper told me, "We want to incorporate a buddy system for safety reasons. That means at all times … except when using the toilet, you must have company. We already came up with the pairs."

I snorted, already knowing how this would turn out. While I was gone, Alice had paired with Jasper, Emmett with Rosalie, and low-n'-behold I had been paired with Edward. He avoided my gaze as they told me, focusing his eyes on the fire before us. I couldn't identify the emotion on his face, but I assumed it was chagrin. Hell, I wasn't thrilled to be paired with him either.

"Other than that, we were about to share our knowledge," he continued, "Emmett, Rosalie, and I have already admitted that we know nothing about the forest. So if you, Edward and Alice want to share…"

"I really don't know much," Alice shrugged, "All I know is how to make a fire…and some rhymes Charlie taught me."

"Well, go ahead," Edward prompted, "Tell us."

I blocked out Alice's voice, wanting to recall my own version of the memory.

"_Alright girls, come take a __look__-__see," Charlie waved us over. He stooped down, looking at a three-leaved plant, one I knew to be some sort of ivy. "This is another poisonous plant. Remember, leaves of three –leave it be." _

"_Dad__,__ isn't there something else we could be doing," Alice groaned, "This is so pointless." _

"_No," he shook his head, "This is stuff in your own backyard. I can't have my little girls getting poisoned." _

_I rolled my eyes, "We're ten years old, we don't pick things off the ground and just eat them."_

"_Don't smart ass me girl," he gave me his signature glare, "I'm trying to instill a little awareness in my princesses. Give me a break." _

"_We'll be fine, Pops," I pressed a kiss to his cheek before edging to skip away with Alice, "When will we need this stuff anyways?" _

"I can't remember the other rhymes," Alice shook her head, "Sorry…maybe Bella would?"

They all looked at me expectantly. As much as I would have liked to remain silent, I didn't think that it would be the most humane thing to do right now— to withhold the information.

"Leaves of three, let it be," I said, "Hairy vine, no friend of mine. Berries white, danger in sight –that's all we got to."

"Right," Alice smiled at me, "Even though we acted as though we hated it, we secretly thought it was fun."

I looked at the smile Alice was delivering, and felt the bile rise in my throat. I wasn't going to sit here and let her relay memories with me as if they meant something to her. I wasn't going to sit here, and let her smile at me as if she hadn't left us. And I was certainly not about to sit here and let her share Charlie with me. As far as I was concerned, Alice had given up that privilege three years ago. So I hefted myself up off the heated ground, and walked away before I could say something I wouldn't regret.

"Bella, wait," Alice called.

I tripped over roots as I scrambled to get away, not caring how the littered floor scratched at my hands. Right now, anything external meant nothing because everything internal was ablaze. The anger that I felt was one I thought I had extinguished a while ago when I'd resigned from society. But here it had returned, as burning and as scorching as the flames that sat a few feet away from me in this cavern.

"Bella," she caught up to me, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Leave me alone, Alice," I growled, "I'm serious this time."

"And what, you were joking all the other times?" She scoffed, "No. This is the time, this is the place."

"This is the time and place for what," I asked, "For you to shed your kindness upon me? I don't accept."

"I just want to talk to you," she said, "I- I couldn't help thinking, what if one of us dies in here and we never resolve this between us?"

"There is nothing to resolve," I shook my head, "there is no '_us'." _

"We're sisters Bella," Alice reached for my hand, "no matter how much we've ignored that fact. I'm not going to throw our relationship away over what happened between our parents."

"It didn't only happen between our parents," I corrected, ripping my hand away from hers, "It happened between you and me when you chose to leave with _her." _

"She needed me," Alice's voice cracked, "I couldn't leave her alone."

"But you could leave Charlie?" I said.

"H-He w-was caging her in," she answered, "he was controlling her."

"He was your father," I shouted at her, "A father that loved you, and you just threw that away because your mother couldn't be faithful."

"You always w-were c-closer to him," she hiccuped, the emotions causing her speech to stutter. Alice had never been one to confront anyone, and this was part of the reason. "You never heard the way she cried at night, or how she would tell me all about the d-dreams she'd lost. And she would hold me, and s-stroke my hair, and tell me how much she wanted to escape. He wasn't allowing her to live."

"Oh, and her little baseball player is," I scoffed.

"D-don't talk about my dad that way," she shouted.

"What about Charlie," I yelled back, "Your _real _father. Do you remember him? He still does everything for you. Every recital, every birthday, every Christmas, every small detail of your life, Charlie is trailing behind, only wanting to be included. But he's not good enough for you. Not now. He's not good enough now that you've experienced the better life."

"You think my life is p-perfect?" Her eyebrows rose in disbelief, "You're not the only one who's gone through something."

"You got the new family, the new house, the clothes," I listed, "You got Emmett, Jasper, Angela, Rosalie, Jacob, E-Edward. You took everything Alice, and left me with nothing."

"Are you delusional? We tried for so long, Bella, but you just gave us away," she shook her head, "You gave all of us away."

"What else could I have done," my voice strained.

"Not pushed me away," she replied at the same volume, "You killed me off Bella –just like you killed off everyone else in your life. Everything could have been right again. I left because I thought that we'd go back to normal. If I had the slightest inkling that you would react this way, I never would have left. I thought we'd still be sisters. We're still sisters."

"You are not my sister," I screamed, "You left me, because like your mother, you're a flighty, vapid, little bitch!"

Her hand connected to my face, sending me reeling back into a tree. The bark scratching against my back, but the pain didn't compare to the burning left on my face. My fingertips brushed at my cheeks, and I was presented with what I knew was blood. Wiping my hand on my jeans, I began to stalk away from her, my eyes trained on the ground.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," Alice sobbed as she stumbled behind me. I could see Jasper beside her, restraining her as he tried to give me distance. "I didn't mean it."

I couldn't look up at Alice. I could no longer use that fire that had once been burning inside me because it had thoroughly been extinguished. Now all that remained were confusing fumes and embers that clouded my head. I felt angry, hurt, shocked, and defeated. But most of all, above everything else, I felt lost.

_~camp~_

There were a number of reasons I awoke in the middle of the night; first and foremost being that the forest ground was uncomfortable as hell.

I would take the cabin shit over this any day.

The second reason was the stinging from the side of my face was painful, and the grainy dirt of the forest floor wasn't helping to soothe anything.

Another reason was that my mind seemed to be on overload, not able to rest with so many thoughts buzzing around all at once.

What made Alice talk to me?

Why did she want so much to restore what was lost?

Was I being unreasonable?

Why the hell did I even care?

For so long I'd gotten used to hating her. I'd like to think I had a justifiable reason, but it seemed like there was a thin line between resentment and rationality, and I couldn't quite place where I was.

She had left Charlie and me, and that was it.

There was no 'her side of the story'.

Renee had been in the wrong, abandoning her family for some affair she had acquired. Alice had followed her, not even giving a second glance. She moved on with her new life and left us in the dust. Why should I forgive her? Had Renee actually said those things to her? What had possessed Renee to unload all of that on her child? But did this excuse Alice's actions? How did I even know if what she had said was the truth?

And the others? How could I ever reconcile that they'd given up on me? _You gave us away…_Alice's words caused bile to rise in my throat. I knew I had been difficult, but was I really not worth the effort? How had they forgotten about me so easily?

_They gave you up as easily as you threw them away._

_**I was hurting.**_

_Yah, and how did that coping mechanism work out for you?_

Besides the ungodly conditions, my annoying thoughts, and the epic pain at the side of my face, none of these reasons should be responsible for causing me to wake up so abruptly. Because, even as my thoughts ran amuck, I lay still with my eyes tightly shut, willing the sleep to return.

After a few minutes of trying to go back to sleep, I realized there was something cold and wet near my face, not to mention stale air surrounding me. I opened my eyes slowly, only to be faced with oversized dark eyes and a cold nose that seemed remarkably familiar.

"You've got to be shitting me.

* * *

I know, I know, I'm horrible. *Devious smile*  
Feel free to review!  
~CH


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